When we are kids, we learn all about juggling! To me I thought it meant something so funny and amazing! My dad could juggle. I thought that was so cool! I don’t know where he learned that but he could juggle and walk on his hands! But, anyway, now, as an adult, juggling is not that fun or funny. Think about all the things you have to juggle. Most of us are doing so many different things we nearly always have something in the air!
Now that we have a 2 year old grandson in the house, it’s even more challenging and I feel like I am always dropping a ball. I’m either feeling bad or guilty about neglecting my house or being impatient with the baby or being short tempered with my amazing husband. Of course there is always the feeling of not paying attention to my diet and having no schedule in place for working out! It’s a lot. My feeling is I only have 2 hands and something has to be in each hand and something in the air!
What can I do? I have to focus on work and my relationships, family. Those have to be my priorities. What do you think? I need to focus on my health first or none of the other things will matter.
I’d like to just sit down and drink a Bloody Mary and let everything fall to the ground! Want to join me?

When you are young, after high school or college, if you took that route, life seems so exciting. It seems like nothing will ever go wrong. It did for me anyway. Even though I had a pretty disfunctional family of “origin.” That is what they call it if you’ve ever been to any type of therapy. Family of origin. That means the ones who lifted you up, fucked you up, tucked you in, turned you in the right direction or in the wrong direction, and the ones who gave you food and clothes, who taught you to do the right things, in their opinions, or the things they could get away with, anyway. My family of origin, my mom and dad, when I was a little kid, were very hard working. My dad was obsessive about working. He grew up in an orphanage so he was determined to be successful. And he was successful, in business. His personal life, even though he seemed to be having fun, was pretty much a hot mess. He was a bipolar/alcoholic. Most people loved my dad. We could go anywhere and he would know someone. I remember being at Disneyland and he would run into friends! My mom was what I thought was pretty much a “square.” Maybe my dad was abusive? I never saw it, well, maybe one time, I saw something that scared me, but my mom seemed sort of happy. She was lots of fun. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was in first grade. I came home and she had been taken to the hospital. She was gone for 3 weeks and back then, kids didn’t go visit their mother in the hospital I guess, or maybe it was just in my family. My grandma hated hospitals. She hated hospitals so much that when my grandpa was dieing, she didn’t even go see him. So when I was staying with her, I guess she wouldn’t take me to go see my mom which now, thinking about it, she didn’t see her daughter, either. So looking back, my grandma was kind of messed up, too. I guess people just do the best they can and hope for the best. So, my point is, we all have a different journey, a unique journey, and we are all special and it is up to us to make it what we want.

We did not plan on raising another child in our 50’s, me, or 60’s, my husband. But…here we are with a 2 year old asleep on our couch. He refuses to sleep in the Paw Patrol bed we bought him. I really dont care, as long as he’s asleep. I guess with so many young people having a tough time we are not alone. We have other children and our oldest son is doing fine. But the dad of this one is not doing fine. So here we are. We love this little one but it’s not easy. We are lucky, during the Pandemic of 2020 we are still earning a living. So we at least don’t have the worry so many have now about an income. Also, raising a child in 2020 is very different from when we had our kids. The oldest was born in 1983. So, literally, another century! I guess we dont know what is going to happen at this point. But for right now, we have a 2 year old sleeping on our couch.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton